2014: My Annus Horribilis
I will never forget this year. From the beginning to the end, there has been little respite from health and personal issues. But all in all, I’m grateful that my mom is still with us, improving, albeit slowly, and things are moving forward (although currently she’s still in hospital and still in ICU once again). I’ve had the opportunity to spend more time with my parents than I have in the last 10 years, for which I’m grateful. Yes, unfortunately it’s been under a very stressful, painful and heartbreaking situation, but still I’m thankful to be able to be by their side and be able to help them every day.
This year has also marked the end of my 10-year relationship with an abusive husband. I am somewhat apprehensive and embarrassed to share this because there’s always the stigma attached to these type of relationships, where not only do I blame myself but I believe others think I’ve been blind, stupid and at fault as well. When I finally made the decision and shared my story with family and friends, a number of friends surprised me and told me about their same stories. I’ve come to realise that it was never my fault and that domestic violence doesn’t distinguish between levels of intelligence, education, social-economic status, backgrounds, nationalities, “races” if you will… it can happen to any one of us alike. And we all have one thing in common: we cover it up because it’s viewed in society as something shameful. We may not all be as lucky as Nigella Lawson to have the money with which to get out and reinvent ourselves quickly, but even in her case it would appear her decision also took time. And she’s an intelligent, beautiful, successful woman.
I compare the story of all of us who have endured this scourge of society with the tale of the Frog in Boiling Water. If you place a frog in boiling water, it will instinctively jump out. Naturally, it senses the danger. But if you place a frog in cold water and turn up the heat gradually, by the time the water is boiling, it will be too late for the frog to realise the deadly predicament it is in and it will be unable to jump out. Victims of domestic violence become trapped into these relationships in a complex array of psychological, emotional, and oftentimes financial abuse. The less fortunate also endure physical abuse. I was lucky. He never hit me although he threatened it often…
But that’s history now. I look forward to a new year and a new life, one where I will succeed Deo Volente because I am determined to so do. And this past experience both with my relationship and with my mother’s health situation has only made me stronger, more resilient. I’ve learned that I have a fortitude that I never thought existed or was possible. And I’m going to take advantage of that realisation to keep going forward.
My HERO
Since June, when my mother had her open-heart surgery to replace two valves and repair two arteries, we have been in and out of hospitals in NYC and Connecticut. My mother has endured multiple complications from a near death episode right after her first discharge to pleural effusions to mistakes made with medications to a sternal wound infection, which is now being treated. Throughout the whole thing, she’s been a trouper, showing all of us that her strength is admirable even to the doctors and nurses who care for her. They are constantly telling us this.
My mom was already my hero before this year. She is the most wonderful person I know. Yes, I am biased like most of you are with your parents and children. But my mother is the most selfless, kind, compassionate, empathetic, loving, understanding and honest person I know. (My father comes in a close second ;)). She has endured other hardships in life which could have made her a bitter person, yet she focused that energy in being a good person and ensuring my brother and I grew up in a loving environment never burdened by her previous suffering. For that I am grateful and for that she has my utmost admiration. And for that, she is my hero and always will be.
2015
I welcome this new year with open arms and am hopeful the tides will change for the positive in health and in happiness. I know we are not the only ones suffering for our loved ones. I have a number of friends battling cancer and other problems. I pray for them and for us so that the new year brings us all good health.
I want to THANK YOU all for being here, for accompanying me on my journey through a Paleo lifestyle, and for not giving up on me when I’ve not been able to interact with you on a regular basis in the past year.
I wish you all a very healthy, happy, prosperous and love-filled New Year 2015!
With love,
Debra xx
PS: I was able to go on one walk in the past months. I now share with you some images of where we are staying in Connecticut and of my parents little buddy, Kiko, who cheers us up every day when we come home from hospital.
*****
In the last few months, I’ve “gone back to basics” in a lot of my cooking because that’s what my parents mostly enjoy. I share with you now a dish that they both love and have asked me to make a number of times.
It couldn’t be easier and simpler to make. It’s takes a little bit of planning to ensure you have 2 to 2 1/2 hours for cooking the meat, but other than that, there’s little else to it. (I’ve actually gotten up early to make this before leaving for the hospital.)
The natural flavours of the lamb, enhanced by the wine and a little bit of rosemary, don’t require more than some sea salt to come out. And the resulting sauce which is turned into a rich gravy is the cherry on the pie. You can swap the vegetables for others that you may like or that are in season.
Roasted Lamb Shanks with Vegetables
Ingredients (for 2-3):
- 2 lamb shanks
- 2 medium onions, peeled and roughly chopped
- 6-7 garlic cloves, unpeeled
- 3 medium carrots, peeled and roughly chopped
- 60ml (1/4 cup) olive oil
- 2 tablespoons grassfed butter or ghee
- 250ml (1 cup) red wine
- 1 tablespoon rosemary or 3-4 sprigs fresh rosemary
- 1 liter (4 cups) filtered water
- 3 medium potatoes, peeled and roughly chopped
- 4-5 medium mushrooms, cut in halves, or 10-12 small button mushrooms whole
- 1-2 tablespoons tapioca flour/arrowroot powder
- sea salt and freshly ground pepper
Method:
Rinse the lamb shanks and season on both sides with sea salt and freshly ground pepper. Set aside while you prepare the vegetables.
Preheat the oven to 200C (390F).
In a large pot that is ovenproof, place the olive oil, butter/ghee, onions, garlic, carrots, and lamb shanks. Over medium heat, cook stirring frequently until the shanks are golden brown. Make sure to turn them the shanks over a few times. I like to use a spatula-like wooden spoon, so I can scoop from the bottom and not break the vegetables in the process.
Once the shanks are browned, add the red wine and simmer for 2-3 minutes to reduce. Add the rosemary, water and potatoes and give it all a good stir. Place the ovenproof pot in the preheated oven. Roast for 2-2 1/2 hours, checking every once in a while and turning the shanks over a couple of times.
Remove from oven and take the shanks and vegetables out of the pot. Set them aside on serving plates and cover, to retain the heat.
For the Gravy:
Place the pot over medium heat and bring to a bubble. Scoop out a few tablespoons of the juices into a glass and add the tapioca/arrowroot flour. Mix well so the flour is completely dissolved. Pour this mixture into the pot and stir well. Add the mushrooms. Cook, stirring constantly until the sauce is thickened and a gravy is formed, about 5-7 minutes. (I used 1 1/2 tablespoons of tapioca flour for a medium thick gravy. Adjust to your liking.) Season with sea salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste.
Uncover the shanks and the vegetables. Pour some of the gravy with the mushrooms over the lamb shanks and the remaining into a gravy bowl. Garnish with some sprigs of thyme if desired. Serve the shanks and vegetables immediately.
*****
Jarretes de Cordero al Horno con Verduras
Ingredientes (para 2-3):
- 2 jarretes de cordero
- 2 cebollas medianas, peladas y cortadas a trozos medianos
- 6-7 dientes de ajo, enteros sin pelar
- 3 zanahorias medianas, peladas y cortadas a trozos medianos
- 60ml aceite de oliva
- 2 cucharadas (soperas) de mantequilla de vaca o ghee
- 250ml de vino rojo
- unas espigas de romero fresco o 1 cucharada (sopera) de romero seco
- 1 litro de agua
- 3 patatas medianas, peladas y cortadas a trozos medianos
- 4-5 champiñones grandecitos, limpios y cortados a cuartos, dejad aparte; o 10-12 champiñones pequeños enteros
- 1-2 cucharadas (soperas) de harina de tapioca o harina de arrurruz
- sal marina y pimienta fresca, a gusto
Como hacer los jarretes al horno:
Enjuagamos los jarretes y salpimentamos por ambos lados. Dejamos los jarretes apartados mientras preparamos las verduras.
Precalentamos el horno a 200C.
En una olla grande que se pueda meter al horno (como un Le Creuset por ejemplo), echamos el aceite, la mantequilla o ghee, las cebollas, los ajos, zanahorias y los jarretes. Sobre fuego mediano, salteamos moviendo frecuentemente hasta que los jarretes estén bien dorados.
Un vez que los jarretes estén dorados, agregamos el vino rojo y hervimos a fuego lento unos 2-3 minutos para que se reduzca. Añadimos el romero, el agua y las patatas y removemos bien. Ponemos la olla dentro del horno y asamos todo unas 2 a 2 1/2 horas, dandole la vuelta a los jarretes un par de veces.
Sacamos todo del horno y sacamos los jarretes y las verduras de la olla. Ponemos el jarrete en un plato para servir y las verduras en otro plato. Cubrimos los dos platos para que no se nos enfrie nada.
Para el Gravy/Salsa:
Ahora ponemos la olla sobre la hornilla a fuego mediano hasta que empiece a hervir. Sacamos un poco del jugo y lo echamos en un vaso. Le agregamos la harina de tapioca y removemos hasta que la harina este bien disuelta. Echamos esta mezcla dento de la olla y movemos todo bien. Agregamos los champiñones. Cocemos, removiendo continuamente, hasta que obtengamos una salsa espesa, como gravy. (Yo use 1 1/2 cucharadas-soperas-de harina de tapioca para un gravy de espesor mediano. Ajustad a vuestro gusto.) Salpimentar a gusto.
Destapamos los jarretes y las verduras. Echamos un poco del gravy con los champiñones sobre los jarretes y el restante gravy lo ponemos en una salsera. Decoramos con unas espigas de tomillo fresco, si lo deseamos. Servimos los jarretes y las verduras inmediatamente.
A beautiful dish to finish the year on a positive note. I have admired your strength through your adversity this entire year, and wish you and all your family a brighter 2015 and future. I’ve said time and time again, we shall still be here ready to read your blog when you have time to return to it, and in the meantime shall continue to enjoy all of the great dishes you have created thus far. Happy New Year Debra x
Thank you Ceri! I’ve learned from your strengths too… you’ve also been an example for me to see life in a positive light. I wish you all the best, continued good health and success in this New Year. Love, Debra xx
Muy bien Debra. Te conozco solo desde hace unos años y reconozco que me ha impresionado tu valentía. Hay muchas mujeres que no dan el paso y acaban a manos de sus temibles maridos. Eres única y sé que seguirás adelante con tus nuevos proyectos. Espero que tu madre se mejore, las dos os lo merecéis. Feliz año nuevo bonita!!
Gracias guapa!! No sabes cuanto agradezco tus palabras y sobre todo tu amistad. Te quiero <3 Feliz año nuevo para ti y tu familia también!
Debra thank you so much for sharing your story. I am truly touched by all you have endured. I wish you health and happiness in 2015.
Abrazos!
Thank you Krystal for your kind words and for the following on Instagram. I look forward to becoming friends! Debra xx
I do hope that 2015 has been a good year for you so far. Good luck and “courage” for the future.
Thank you very much Glenda! It’s proving to be a tough year, as I’ve lost my mother in March. I hope it gets better soon. xx Debra